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Entry tags:
obligitory emo journal
I dont think I have ever felt this detatched from the majority my friends in a long time.
People I was close to seem to only talk to me because they are obliged to, and treat it like a chore rather than because they want to actually talk to me. Am I the only one who thinks this is upsetting? This is probably being my brain being all paranoid and schitzo, but ngh, I don't know. I've lost so many close friends in the past couple of weeks, and I really dont like it. Never have.
Fuck why does this always happen to me?
The fact that I am moving away for university too, meaning I will be cut off from everyone who I can visit will make it 10 times worse. I have to see them at least once a month. And on a student budget, thats really not happening. Nrh. If I wasn't so.. needy, this wouldn't be a problem.
I think the realisation that I probably will never get to meet any of the people I care about stateside is finally hitting me. I can't go over, I'm poor, I have no money. I really want to go, but if I do I wont be able to put down a deposit on my dorms, get internet acess, actually eat and shit. it was such a pipedream. I really wanted it to work. But hey, nothing ever turns out for the best for me.
Nrhhh. I should just go back to bed. But then again, been doing that for the past four days, and nothing is helping.
People I was close to seem to only talk to me because they are obliged to, and treat it like a chore rather than because they want to actually talk to me. Am I the only one who thinks this is upsetting? This is probably being my brain being all paranoid and schitzo, but ngh, I don't know. I've lost so many close friends in the past couple of weeks, and I really dont like it. Never have.
Fuck why does this always happen to me?
The fact that I am moving away for university too, meaning I will be cut off from everyone who I can visit will make it 10 times worse. I have to see them at least once a month. And on a student budget, thats really not happening. Nrh. If I wasn't so.. needy, this wouldn't be a problem.
I think the realisation that I probably will never get to meet any of the people I care about stateside is finally hitting me. I can't go over, I'm poor, I have no money. I really want to go, but if I do I wont be able to put down a deposit on my dorms, get internet acess, actually eat and shit. it was such a pipedream. I really wanted it to work. But hey, nothing ever turns out for the best for me.
Nrhhh. I should just go back to bed. But then again, been doing that for the past four days, and nothing is helping.
no subject
Twin! Guess what? You're awesome. When you go to uni, you're going to make billions of new friends and stuff. And wanting to be near your friends? That's not needy, that's normal. It means you care about your friends, and pura bb, they care about you too. We all love you to pieces AND WE LOVE YOU BACK TOGETHER AGAIN.
(And as soon as I've finished this stupid high school thing, I'm coming to visit you which will be fun and awesome)